John 13

Facebook was unveiled in all its glory my junior year of college and I immediately and impulsively decided that it was a ridiculous waste of time and I would not be participating. One of my four roommates joined the online social network the day she heard about it and the others were slowly convinced of its usefulness in peering into the lives of childhood friends and estranged family members. I stood my ground for a month or two, then when I found myself borrowing one of my friends’ passwords to scope out this web-world, I finally created an account. I was probably as neurotic about checking my facebook as many of your kids [or you…admit it!] are for the first year of my facebook ownership, but the excitement wore off fast for me. In recent days I avoid signing on at all costs. I believe the evolution of facebook left me in the dust. I type www.facebook.com, enter my name and password and I am immediately confronted with decisions…Do you want to own a farm? Which Star Wars character are you? Do you want to send Bobby a gift? It’s serious virtual-sensory overload.

In the last couple of days I’ve read John 13 a few times. Every time I read it I intend to have a deeply spiritual experience…but the only experience my head was allowing me to have was visual imagery of signing onto facebook and being asked to take the “Which Disciple Are You Quiz?” I would labor over 10 profound, personal questions and after answering all of them it would be revealed that I am Peter. I hope facebook never stoops that low…besides I didn’t need a cyber-quiz to expose my sinful heart--just the Holy Spirit. I am so thankful that God saw fit to include so many gut-wrenching stories about Peter’s misadventures in His word, as I always relate to his hasty behavior.

It’s in verse 37 that Peter epitomizes the human condition, “Peter said to Him, ‘Lord why can I not follow You now? I will lay down my life for you.’” It is so like us to assume that we know God’s timing and what He wants with us. Peter responded to Jesus’ announcement that He was going where no one could follow, with such honesty and righteousness but also with such ignorance. He believed with all his heart that it was time for Him to follow the Messiah. I am Peter. I run around assuming what work the Lord has set aside for me and I try to tell Him I am ready for Him to be the Lord of my life. And Jesus responds by knowing me better than I know myself…just as He did with Peter. He simply replies, “before the rooster crows, you will disown me three times!”

John 13’s ending sheds light on its beginning for me. Just after washing the disciples’ feet Jesus says, “You call me 'Teacher' and 'Lord,' and rightly so, for that is what I am…I say to you, a servant is not greater than his master.” Teacher, Lord, and Master. These words have little place in my vocabulary…I prefer to call Him: Savior, Friend, Healer. But in that moment with Peter, Jesus defines his Lordship. He knew Peter better than Peter knew Himself. That is my Lord! I take comfort in the fact that my master understands the most isolated depths of my heart and is able to fully satisfy them. He has heard every wavering thought and solved every problem in my mind. To have a master and teacher who lavishes His love and guidance on us and choose to not take advantage of it…sounds crazy…but it’s human. It’s Peter. It’s me. It’s you.

I have realized that my earthly devotion only goes so far. It may have taken me to the foot of the cross but it cannot make a disciple out of me. Peter relied on his own earthly devotion in this exchange with Jesus, and he goes on, in all of his self-sufficiency, to deny his master three times. It is at this point when we stop believing ourselves and what WE know about God and we learn to yield to the Spirit and sacrifice our desire to be our own master.


Jenna Trapasso
March 28